Developmental Snapshot: Mom, You Know A Lot More Than I Do About Unhappy Teenagers

Mother and Son: Existentialing in Sonoma
Fall 2019

My youngest son and I are in a pediatric specialty clinic.

My youngest son is getting big. He is 16 and taller than everyone claiming to be from 6 to 6 feet 2 (yet the clinic measurement reads 6 feet, an amusing demonstration of this  well-replicated scientific observation: men lie about their heights--and women lie about their weights.)

I'm taking in all the gizmos, colors, wheels, stickers--things that make little kids feel very comfortable and filtering through my knowledge of possible teen angst/alienation/isolation.

Would this space make a teen feel awkward? As in, would it accentuate what another son (my oldest) said to me poignantly once as a 17 year old: look, I'm not a child anymore and neither am I an adult.

So I ask: What do you think of this space?

My son looks up and with characteristic laconicity (95% of the time with occasional bursts of logorrhea): It's cool.

I poke the respondant a little more: This does not make you feel out of place as a teenager?

My son, clutching a book entitled The People of the Abyss and his iPhone: Nahh, as a teenager, I tend to have everything I need on me.

I think a little and then: You are right. And you love kids so this is a fun environment. I'm imagining that a depressed teen who feels misunderstood, isolated and does not feel that s/he/they belong could receive this environment differently.


My son with a huge smile: Mom, mom, I would not know about that. When it comes to miserable and unhappy teens....you know a lot more than I do.


I was glad to hear that.

Love,

Anne